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I hate this chapter, to be honest. The voice is wrong. Ricky's character is all wrong. Portia doesn't make sense in the plot. The transitions from one topic of conversation to another is wtf. The rhythm is not. The humor isn't properly set up. The whole chapter is out of left-field.

I don't like Portia. I had this really beautiful idea for her, and then I realized that it would be just be completely ridiculous in comparison with everything else in the plot. So I wanted to take her out, but she's vital to certain things so I'm stuck with her and ugh.
UGH.
UGH.

Please give me feedback on things. Maybe I'm just overthinking it? I don't know.
What do you guys think of Portia?

I will say I like the cliffhanger. I'm doing things there hahaaaa >:D
There's more to the plot twist than meets the eye.

...There was one more Thing I wanted to put here, but I can't remember it. So yeah, let's leave it with that. Here's my first crappy chapter. I might edit it later.
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© 2014 - 2024 fatty-writes
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AccountaEnigmatica's avatar
Lol- I really had to laugh in some points in this chapter xD I turned out really good- as always ;) hihi